


It's A Terrible Love

by FarAwayInWonderland



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [23]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-22 06:46:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8276555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FarAwayInWonderland/pseuds/FarAwayInWonderland
Summary: “I´m here, I´m here,” Raphael reassured Simon.

  “Don´t forget me, will you?” Simon asked of him.

  “I won´t,” Raphael murmured. “I´ll always carry you with me.”

  “I guess that makes me immortal,” Simon replied as one single tear ran down his cheek.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I just finished watching The Originals 3.19, I´m a sobbing mess and I can barely see the keyboard on which I type this. I just wanted to write this particular scene with Saphael :(

When Magnus opened the door to his lair it was to Raphael standing on his steps, rain pouring down on his black locks and expensive jacket, holding the prone figure of Simon in his arms. The boy looked terrible, his skin cut open and blood smeared all over him where the rain hadn’t washed it off already while Raphael was trembling all over.

“What happened?” Magnus asked as he stepped aside and let the vampire in.

“I´ve found him like this,” Raphael explained frantically.

“Lay him down here,” Magnus ordered the vampire, pointing towards a bed in one of his unused rooms.

“It was Camille,” Raphael said, his voice subdued. “She wore she would take everything I love from me. I just never thought she would go after him. I thought I´d kept him hidden from all this.” He let out a hollow laugh. “Oh, how wrong I was.”

“Just sit down,” Magnus told him and applied gentle pressure on his shoulders until Raphael sat down on one of the many couches that were situated all over the room. “I´m gonna see what I can do for Simon.” And without even bothering if Raphael did as he was told, the Warlock turned around and walked into the room where Simon was laid up.

Raphael didn’t know how long he sat there and staring into nothingness, but it could have been just seconds or all eternity and he wouldn’t have noticed – wouldn’t have cared. And yet, when Magnus came back, his expression grave and his shoulders slumped, he knew that all his hopes had been to no avail.

“I can´t heal him, Raphael,” Magnus told him, the usual cheer completely gone from his voice. “Camille used a poison, a magical one, a deadly one…and..I can´t neutralize it.” Raphael swallowed hard, not saying anything out of fear that the moment a single word would come out of his mouth the broken pieces that held him together would come undone.

“But there is one thing I can give you,” Magnus continued. “One small mercy; I can grant you being with him in his last seconds.” He beckoned for Raphael to follow him into the room where Simon laid and held out one hand, his other touching Simon´s – so unnatural pale, even for a vampire – and waited for Raphael to take it. “He won´t be alone.” 

Without hesitation Raphael took the Warlock´s hand.

“I remember this place.” Raphael looked up to see Simon standing next to him. He couldn’t help himself, he stretched out his hand and just touched the other. There was no blood, no battered skin, no broken bones. Just Simon as he had been on that summer night in which they currently where. In front of them – above the Hudson – a platform had been raised, lampions hanging on strings spun all over it. The city behind them was dark and laid in silence, making Raphael aware that this was not real, just in their heads.

It had never felt more real to him, though.

The wind was wafting over them, bringing with it the smell of salt and water, making Simon´s brown locks swinging back and forth. He smiled.

“You brought me here because I told you that I´d never been dancing.” There was a wistfulness in his voice, a strange melancholia lurking behind his eyes.

“Simon,” Raphael finally managed to stutter. He spoke Simon´s name like it was his salvation, as if Simon would stay with him as long as his name wouldn’t leave Raphael´s lips, contained in their little words of dreams and wishes. “Simon.” The other took Raphael´s hand.

“It was the best night I ever had,” Simon told him as he tugged Raphael towards the platform, skilfully evading the people that were already dancing on it. “The lights, the music –“ he quirked his lips “– the company. Everything was perfect.” He turned around to face Raphael.

“Will you grant me this last dance?” he asked and who was Raphael to deny Simon his dying wish? He linked their hands together and slowly they started to sway in the tact of the music.

“It´s nice, isn´t it?” Simon mumbled into his neck. “It´s so nice that I know that it isn´t real.”

“Simon…” Raphael started, his throat constricting.

“I don´t want to die,” Simon cried, but the tears wouldn’t come. “I thought I could handle it with dignity, with grace, that I could be brave, but I-I can´t. I…I don’t want go. I´m so scared.”

“I´m here, I´m here,” Raphael reassured Simon.  

“Don´t forget me, will you?” Simon asked of him.

“I won´t,” Raphael murmured. “I´ll always carry you with me.”

“I guess that makes me immortal,” Simon replied as one single tear ran down his cheek. It fell down and for one single moment – a small scattered piece of eternity – it hung in the air like the most precious diamond, capturing the light of the dozens of lampions around them before it crashed on the ground and fragmented into thousands of pieces like Raphael´s heart as he watched his love slowly fade away.

“I´m afraid,” Simon confessed, “I always thought I´d be ready for death when it would come to me because I died once already, but now as I can feel it slowly closing in on me there´s this agonising fear in my heart that I just cannot fight.” He looked at Raphael, but behind these brown orbs he could see nothing but unending love and compassion. “You being here with me – it makes it easier to bear. Knowing that my last moments here shall be spent with you.”

_Magnus stood there, tears running down his cheeks unhindered as he felt the two lovers saying their goodbyes to each other._

The tune changed, a slow piano play only supported by the mournful string of a violin. The music told Simon everything Raphael never could bring himself to tell out loud: the love that he never thought he could find, the home he had found in Simon´s presence, the redemption, the light, the joy Simon had brought him and which he had grasped like a man dying of thirst. It spoke of a love story that could have transcended eternity in one single note and Raphael would have given everything to just stay here for all eternity with his arms wrapped around Simon and never letting go.

Suddenly the lights around them started to flicker.

“What is happening?” Simeon asked afraid.

“Your heart,” Raphael replied, barely able to bring the words past his lips. “It´s slowly giving up. We don´t have much longer.”

“Please, Raphael, make the people go away,” Simeon begged.

The people dancing around them vanished slowly one by one until it was only them on the platform under the lampions and the stars, at the shore of the river.

“No, no, no, no, no,” Raphael exclaimed. “Not yet. Just stay a bit longer?”

“I was never naïve enough to believe that we would last,” Simon confessed quietly, “but it was a nice dream while it lasted, wasn´t it?”

“When I´m gone,” Simon continued, his voice already becoming weaker and yet he pressed on, not allowing himself to die before he had said his last, “become the man I know you can be. Become the man I fell in love with all these summer nights ago.” Then he crumbled down, Raphael barely able to catch him in his arms. Raphael desperately ran his hand over Simon´s hair as he pressed the vampire´s head against his chest.

“You´re going to where many have already gone before,” he whispered. One by one, the lights around them began to extinguish, each of them allowing the darkness to creep nearer. And yet the music continued to play on, the notes hanging in the air so faint that Raphael feared one loud sound, one wrong word would tear them apart. “Where even I will go one day.”

The last lampion went out.

“I love you.”

Raphael opened his eyes and he was alone.


End file.
